A DAY OF GIN AND ROSES

SYNOPSIS:

The play is set in a small, (once family-owned) restaurant on the outskirts of Prague, Czechoslovakia, in August, 1966. The country is still languishing under a socialist regime, but with the rise of a new liberal leadership, the Czechs are beginning to sense that some personal freedoms may be restored.

The action of the play covers one day in the life of Eva, a 17-year old girl whose challenges of the moment are to pass a geography exam and find a boyfriend. The restaurant is closed for the day. Eva and Grandma are expecting Veronica, Eva’s attractive older sister, to return from a rarely-sanctioned trip to the West. The only other person in the restaurant is the waiter, Moritz, a Swiss expatriate, whom Grandma suspects of being a spy for the authorities.

Grandma gets a phone call from the local butcher who has accumulated a large amount of forbidden western currency for his upcoming vacation abroad. He has just found out that his house will be searched by the Secret Police. An envelope with the currency is delivered to the restaurant, and Grandma puts Eva in charge of hiding it.

Then Grandma gets a tip from a friend that a government auditor is in town and will come to the restaurant to review the inventory. The restaurant is filled with liquor and cigarettes purchased on the black market. Frantic activity ensues as Grandma puts Moritz and Eva to work on moving the contraband to a safe place in the cellar.

Veronica arrives. She confides in Eva that she plans to get married. Her betrothed is Pavel, her boyfriend for three years, whose wife has finally agreed to a divorce. Then Pavel shows up, completely shaken, and announces that his wife has attempted suicide and is in the hospital. The wedding plans will have to be postponed. Veronica retires to her room in a state of shock and anger, leaving strict orders with Eva not to be disturbed. Then an unexpected visitor turns up. He is Ed Walker, a love-struck Texan, who has come to court Veronica. Ed has a run-in with Grandma, who mistakes him for an intruder.

Ed and Grandma reach a detente after he gives her a pack of Marlboros and fixes a leaking toilet. They play poker in the kitchen while Ed tries to win Veronica’s heart. Pavel returns from the hospital and talks to Eva in the lobby. His recovering wife has confessed that she was having an affair. Due to a mix-up with a hat, Pavel thinks that Ed is his wife’s lover. When the government auditor enters the scene and heads straight for the cellar, all parties, in spite of their differences and the language barrier, join forces to neutralize him. There is more panic when the envelope with the butcher’s illegal currency goes missing. The envelope eventually turns up, Pavel’s wife’s lover is identified, Veronica is paired with the right man and Eva gets both a date and the promise of help with passing her exam. By the end of the day, peace returns to the restaurant.

CHARACTERS:

EVA, a plain and somewhat clumsy 17-year-old girl

GRANDMA, a stout feisty woman in her 60’s

OLD MILLER, a man past 50

MORITZ, a Swiss waiter in his late 20’s– speaks with a German accent

VERONICA, EVA’s sexy 25- year old sister

PAVEL, an intellectual in his 30’s

ED WALKER, a flamboyant Texan in his 30’s - speaks with a drawl

AUDITOR, a man around 50 (can be played by the same actor as OLD MILLER)

DUMBO, an offstage dog

SAMPLE DIALOGUE:

AUDITOR (Enters the kitchen.)
Good evening. I am State Auditor Novotny. I’ve been appointed to perform an unscheduled inventory of your supplies to ensure that you are in compliance with government regulations. Who is the manager?

GRANDMA
Good evening, Mr. Novotny. The manager is on vacation, but I’ll be glad to help. Would you like a cup of coffee or perhaps something stronger?

AUDITOR spots the empty bottle on the table.

AUDITOR
This is the same gin your waiter was drinking in the lobby. It is unmistakably illegal English merchandise. Where did you get it?

EVA (Points to ED.)
He brought it.

AUDITOR
And who is he?

EVA
My sister’s fiancé from Texas. They’re getting married.

PAVEL (Looks up from the book)
What? (Shakes head and returns to the book.)

AUDITOR (Writes in HIS notepad.)
This is outside the scope of my duties, but I’ll have to report his presence to the police. They will verify that his visit to this house has been properly justified and recorded. (Pauses while writing.) And while I’m on subjects external to the audit, I would like to point out that there is no portrait of our president among the pictures in the lobby. Do you have one?

GRANDMA
No.

AUDITOR
Why not?

EVA
Someone stole it.

AUDITOR
I’ll make certain that you get a new one. We have plenty of them. You’ll have to frame it yourselves, of course, because the state is temporarily short of trees.

GRANDMA
Mr. Novotny, would you like to begin the inventory? We can start here or in the bar---

AUDITOR
I always start in the cellar. It’s been my experience that the cellar usually contains the most interesting items. The deeper, the more interesting. Are there electric lights in the cellar?

EVA
It’s dangerous down there. The steps are moldy and slippery. Really. I wouldn’t go there if I were you. I once had a bad fall---

AUDITOR
I’m prepared to deal with any adversity in the execution of my duties. (Pulls a large flashlight out of HIS briefcase) Will someone show me the way, please?

EVA
I will. But the steps need to be repaired. We can’t get anybody to do it.
(The AUDITOR turns HIS flashlight on and exits to the cellar.)

PAVEL (To EVA.)
Will he find something he shouldn’t?

EVA (Nods sadly.)

PAVEL
Contraband booze?

EVA
English gin, American cigarettes, French cognac. Cases and cases.

PAVEL
That could get pretty nasty. The man sounds like a fanatic. Let me think. This may be something I can help with.

EVA
Veronica said you’ve got connections.

PAVEL
Not as many as she thinks, but I do have friends. Is she really going to marry that cowboy?

EVA
Who knows.

PAVEL
It might be better for her. She’ll be able to leave this burned out country behind. And you …you may even get to visit Texas.