Much
Ado About Willie
SYNOPSIS:
A comedic treatment of watershed events from the lives of William Henry Ireland, an 18th century literary forger, and William Shakespeare, the subject of his forgeries.
In the 1790s William Henry Ireland (Willie) is a failing student with no discernible talents or skills. He lives in a dysfunctional family that consists of his abusive and self-important stepfather, Samuel Ireland; his mother, unaccountably referred to as Mrs. Freeman; and a sister, Jane. In order to gain his stepfather’s favor, Willie begins to feed the aspiring antiquarian’s hunger for all things Shakespearian by producing a deed with Shakespeare’s signature. Within a short time, William Henry delivers a massive quantity of original “Shakespeare Papers,” including a complete new play, entitled Kynge Vortigern, that he claims to have discovered in the trunk of a benefactor who insists upon remaining anonymous. A delighted Samuel has the papers authenticated by numerous contemporary experts, which emboldens playwright Richard Sheridan to mount a full-scale production of Vortigern at his newly renovated Drury Lane Theatre. London literary circles are sharply divided over whether the papers are real or fabricated, and the premiere of Vortigern provides a major flashpoint for the controversy. As believers and non-believers battle it out on the floor of Drury Lane, Samuel Ireland finds himself vilified as a fraud and forger, while William Henry goes into hiding to consider his next moves.
As a counterpoint to the 18th century story, scenes from a re-imagined life of William Shakespeare portray events from the pivotal years 1611 – 1613. We see Shakespeare forced into retirement in Stratford after the failure of his newest works, Cymbeline and The Winter’s Tale, and witness the Bard’s carefully executed revenge on his own theatre company. The interplay between the events of the two story lines ultimately sheds unexpected light on the true authorship of the “Shakespeare Papers.”
CHARACTERS
(Minimum of 6 actors required):
1610’s
WILL – A graying, balding, paunchy and florid William Shakespeare, prematurely aged at 49.
BURBAGE – A still vigorous Richard Burbage, 43, mainstay of the King’s Men theatre company.
MARY – A young woman, 21, daughter of Shakespeare’s landlords, the Mountjoys.
1790’s
SAMUEL – Samuel Ireland, 49, self-important, socially ambitious, former weaver turned dealer in antiquities.
WILLIE – William-Henry Ireland, at ages 14 to 19, and 59. The young Willie is first seen as a failing student; then as a barrister’s clerk and aspiring poet/forger; and finally, as a failed writer on his deathbed.
MRS. FREEMAN – A fortyish woman of aristocratic origins. She is Samuel Ireland’s live-in “housekeeper,” former mistress of the 4th Earl of Sandwich, and William-Henry’s natural mother.
JANE – Jane Ireland, at ages 19 to 23, sister to WILLIE (can be played by the same actor as MARY).
BOSWELL – James Boswell, 54, ailing literary man, known for his biography of Samuel Johnson (can be played by the same actor as WILL).
SHERIDAN – Richard Brinsley Sheridan, 44, playwright and proprietor of the Drury Lane Theatre (can be played by the same actor as WILL)
KEMBLE – John Phillip Kemble, 38, leading Shakespearean actor of the day and manager of The Drury Lane’s acting company (can be played by the same actor as BURBAGE)
MRS. POWELL—Actor in the Drury Lane Theatre Company (can be played by the same actor as MRS. FREEMAN.)
JORDAN – A shifty dealer in Shakespearean memorabilia in Stratford (can be played by the same actor as KEMBLE/BURBAGE).
MRS. JORDAN – JORDAN’s less skilled co-conspirator (can be played by the same actor as MRS. FREEMAN)
NURSE – (played by the same actor as JANE)
ACTOR and BEAR (walk-ons, played by anyone not otherwise engaged).
SAMPLE DIALOGUE
(from
the visit to Stratford):
SAMUEL
Dear lady, may I prevail upon you to show me the place so that I can
examine these papers?
MRS. JORDAN
I… I… (Looks at JORDAN who, behind SAMUEL’s back, makes
gestures like a
chicken. SAMUEL doesn’t see him, but WILLIE does and opens his mouth in
shock.) Sir, I don’t think it would be a proper place for a
gentleman
to visit.
SAMUEL
But certainly, Mrs. Jordan---
JORDAN
Dear wife, pray tell, did you put those papers, did you---?
MRS. JORDAN
--- yes, I did!
JORDAN (Cries as if in pain.)
Oh, Mr. Ireland. How stupid of me! The chest came from one of the old
Stratford families, yet it did not occur to me to caution the wife that
its contents may be of some value.
MRS. JORDAN
There was some scribbling on the papers. But I did not know---
JORDAN
Say no more! It pains me to think---
SAMUEL
May I ask what fate these papers met?
MRS. JORDAN
I gave them to the chickens.
SAMUEL (Confused.)
You did what?
JORDAN
It seems me foolish wife put the papers amongst our chickens for them
to bed upon.
SAMUEL
Oh! Even so, some may have survived and can be examined?
MRS. JORDAN
I tore them in small pieces. To make them soft for the birds. And then
with the chickens dropping on them all this time---
SAMUEL (Grabs his head in despair.)
Oh, the horror! Oh dear lady, do you grasp what injury the world may
have sustained by this thoughtless act?
MRS. JORDAN (To JORDAN.)
I blame you!
JORDAN
Me? How am I at fault?
MRS. JORDAN
You never give me enough money to buy proper straw for the chickens!
JORDAN
Make yourself scarce, woman, before I take a stick to ye!
MRS.
JORDAN exits in mock alarm.
SAMUEL (Desperately.)
Good Lord! Shakespeare’s papers befouled by fowl! I am in agony!
JORDAN
Chickens! (Beat.) Women have no appreciation for
historical artifacts!
SAMUEL
So I observe. (Shakes head.) What a pity, what a
loss!
MRS. JORDAN (Enters, carrying a small shred of stained paper)
Here’s all as still has writing on it. (Gives it to
SAMUEL,
who handles it gingerly.)
SAMUEL
Oh! (Examines it carefully.) It seems to be written
in an
antique hand!
WILLIE (Peers over SAMUEL’s shoulder)
What does it say, Mr. Ireland?
SAMUEL
A single word: “fardles.”
WILLIE
Hamlet’s soliloquy?
SAMUEL
The rest is obliterated by… by… Oh, the humanity!
MRS. JORDAN (Exits in tears)