THE BEST THANKSGIVING

SYNOPSIS:
A family Thanksgiving celebration goes off the deep end after a mysterious stranger turns up (Run time:10 minutes).

CHARACTERS:

MONA -- Forty-something homemaker, weary, unassertive.

BILL – MONA’s husband. Marginally employed, bit of a bully. More hot air than action.

JANICE – 12 years old. Mouthy, self-centered, know-it-all pre-teen.

TOMMY – 9 years old. Habitual rule-breaker. Always on the lookout for novel ways to needle his sister.

NED – Sixty-something street person in an army surplus overcoat. Mind ravaged by war, drugs, poor diet and God-knows-what-else. Has an unusual gift, though.

SAMPLE DIALOGUE:

BILL: OK, OK. Ned, I was going to say grace, but how about you? I’m sure you’ve got a whole lot to be thankful for today.

NED: I’m not much good at—

MONA: Please, Ned. It would mean so much to the children.

NED: No, y’all do whatever. I’m really bad at—

TOMMY (Eyeing the food): Please, please, please!

NED: You don’t understand. Sometimes—

JANICE: Pretty please!

NED: Uh…well… OK, I guess. (Bows head. Beat. Voice changes to sound like a TV preacher.) Heavenly Father, we thank you for the good life our forefathers have carved for us out of this resource-rich American landscape and the backsides of its indigenous peoples. We thank you for the technology that made it possible for us to annihilate them before they could annihilate us. Likewise, we give thanks for the convenient veil of self-righteous self-deception that permits us to see our history of pillage, plunder and destruction in the rosy light of heaven-ordained manifest destiny. And for Norman Rockwell whose vision of us as a kindly and avuncular bunch, carving turkeys in our starched white shirts, so effectively masks the greed, ruthlessness and rationalization that are the cornerstones of our success.

TOMMY
Wow!