THE FUTURE INSPECTOR

SYNOPSIS:

This play is an original, free adaptation of the classic Russian Symbolist novel, The Petty Demon, by Fyodor Sologub, first published in 1907. The novel belongs to a literary renascence known as the “Silver Age” of Russian literature and has been adapted to take full advantage of the ridicule that Sologub lavishes on his subject.

The action centers on the brutish and paranoid schoolmaster Peredonov, who obsessively pursues an appointment as Inspector of Schools. As Peredonov seeks the higher office through bullying, sycophancy and self-promotion, his live-in cousin, Barbara, tries to leverage his obsession into a wedding contract. With the help of her grasping and squalid friend, Grushina, she forges a letter in which her former employer, a duchess, promises to pull strings to help Peredonov obtain an inspector’s post, but only if he marries Barbara first. As the play unfolds, Peredonov is beset by small demons to whose escalating antics he reacts with behavior that begins to alarm even his degenerate inner circle.

Peredonov’s gradual descent into madness is paralleled by the story of the light-hearted, liberated hedonist, Lydia Rutilova. Lydia is an attractive twenty-something with an appreciation for physical beauty and a bent for mischief. While Peredonov is wrestling with his demons, Lydia is breezily seducing one of his young students, Sasha Pylnikov. She involves the boy in a series of sensual games and puts him up to appearing at the town’s annual costume ball as a geisha. The stories of Lydia and Peredonov intersect when the latter begins to persecute Sasha on the basis of rumors that the boy is actually a girl in disguise. Lydia devises a strategy to protect Sasha from Peredonov’s vicious attacks. Her efforts to undermine Peredonov, in combination with his own increasingly irrational behavior, culminate in a highly theatrical and memorable climax.

CHARACTERS:

PEREDONOV - early forties, provincial schoolteacher. Egocentric, self-important, destructive

BARBARA - Peredonov’s live-in cousin, about the same age as Peredonov. A wiry, dark-haired, marginally attractive woman visibly past her prime. Wears clothes that are a bit gaudy, somewhat shabby and generally unkempt.

GRUSHINA - Barbara’s greedy crony.

VOLODIN - Peredonov’s faithful sidekick. Devoted to his mentor, he is a dull-witted man who bleats like a sheep when he laughs. He teaches carpentry at a vocational school.

LYDIA - an attractive woman in her early twenties from a prosperous local family. She dresses in a more sensual and revealing fashion than is conventional for the period.

SASHA - a handsome and naive 15-year old school boy.

THE OFFICIALS (played by the same actor): Nicolai Khripach, the Headmaster; Captain Minchukov, the Chief of Police; Yakov Skuchaev, the Mayor.

DEMONS (Optional) - two or more non-speaking pint-sized apparitions visible only to Peredonov (and to the audience, if used). They are of slight build, nimble, able to move quickly and fluidly, climb, dance and do cartwheels. They taunt Peredonov and feed his paranoia regarding a general conspiracy against him.

VOICES offstage.

SAMPLE DIALOGUE:

THE OFFICIAL (Loudly, brassily.)
I haven’t seen you for a long time, Master Peredonov. (Pulls a form from a drawer and dips a pen in ink.) Last name?

PEREDONOV
Pe – Pe – Peredonov.

THE OFFICIAL
Maiden name?

PEREDONOV (Confused.)
I --- I don’t have one.

THE OFFICIAL (Raises eyebrows.)
I see…(Makes note in margin.) Did you come to make a confession? (Checks the form.) Have you killed somebody? Have you set fire to someone’s property? Have you been pilfering the mail?

PEREDONOV (Confused, panicked.)
No. No Captain Minchukov!! I’ve come on business.

THE OFFICIAL
Have you yourself been a victim of crime? Our town is rotten, and we at the police have our hands full. If not for us, the marketplace would be strewn with dead bodies every morning. (Beat.) So are you a criminal or a victim?

PEREDONOV
Neither. I haven’t done anything, sir. Some people would like to see me in prison, but I’m innocent.

THE OFFICIAL
So you haven’t brought me a confession of any sort?

PEREDONOV (Fearfully.)
No, nothing of the sort.

THE OFFICIAL
Well, if that’s the case, I can offer you something to eat. (Violently rings the bell on the table and shouts.) Malanya! Malanya!She must be in the garden. People nowadays are a mere parody of man. Science recognizes that criminals are born. The jails are full of villains. It’s expensive. We need to hang them all. That said, there’s nothing more to be said.

PEREDONOV
Yes, and the Headmaster lets all sorts of riffraff into our school. We have to teach the children of merchants and peasants now.

THE OFFICIAL
The help has become surly. The servants all want to join the nobility. It’s stupid, foolish and immoral. The nobility also suffers from an influx of uncultured elements. And that about sums it up.

PEREDONOV
There are policies that direct the Headmaster not to admit all sorts of scum, but he does as he pleases. I believe, Captain Minchukov, that the last boy he admitted is actually a girl.

THE OFFICIAL
A fine mess it is. That sums it up. (Rings the bell.) Malanya! Malanya! Where did she go? You can’t get decent help these days. (Beat.) So what’s your business with me?

PEREDONOV
I have enemies.

THE OFFICIAL
There was once a pig who had no enemies, but they made a ham out of him anyway.

PEREDONOV
They’re spreading vicious rumors about me.

THE OFFICIAL
Ours is a terrible town for gossip. The minute you do something shady, all the swine begin to grunt about it.

PEREDONOV
Duchess Volchanskaya promised to help me obtain the post of Inspector of Schools, and suddenly they’ve all begun to gossip. It all comes from envy, and it could injure my chances. Take the Headmaster, for example. He’s corrupted the school, letting girls in, and now he’s persecuting me. If it gets any worse, word might even reach the Duchess.

THE OFFICIAL
A fine mess, indeed. Terrible.

PEREDONOV
Can I count on your support then?

THE OFFICIAL
When?

PEREDONOV
If some evil gossip comes your way.

THE OFFICIAL
Ah! You can. That said, nothing more needs to be said.

PEREDONOV
Thank you for hearing me out, Captain Minchukov. Your support is very important to me.

THE OFFICIAL
Think nothing of it. Malanya! Malanya! Where the hell is she?